Posts by Van Gogh

63

WHAT MADE YOU LEAVE? Doctrine or people?

by chuckyy in

hi.. just wondering what made you take the final leap out of the org?

was it doctrinal in that certain things just didnt add up or was it because of the actions of people in the org.

that made you leave?

Van Gogh

First time in my twenties it was many bone dry years of total spiritual and emotional desolation; lived some of the happiest years after that.

After a couple of years I felt I had to return because it was supposed to be the truth.

Second time around I had slowly grown to extremely dislike the whole system and hierarchy but felt I should now stay because it was supposed to be the truth and had already left once.

If only it were not the truth...

then, one day one of my best JW friends pointed out to me a brief essay on 607 which I read and I can still remember the sudden and overwhelming joyous realization within just a matter of seconds that I now was free to go... which I did without hesitation cold turkey. Have found unexpected and miraculous rewards in spiritual fulfiment and in my work that have more then ever restored my faith in whatever is out there.

After many years I have finally learnt to ultimately trust only the humble inner voice that for all those year was in vain trying to tell me something unabatedly despite the fact I distrusted its admonitions for so long. Finding that truth was my award.

18

Film "Worlds Apart," screened in NYC - GO SEE IT

by NYCkid in

jw
friends

hello, just want to highly recommend the danish film, "worlds apart" now being screend at the tribeca film festival in new york.

the acting is superb and the filmakers represent the witnesses accurately (to the "t") withoug making them appear fanatic.

after all, these are people sincere in their beliefs no matter how absurd.

Van Gogh

I could not get the trailer from the link presented above.

this one worked for me (the site has a lot of other interesting clips):

http://jehovahswitnessesvideo.blogspot.com/2008/01/danish-movie-about-discipline-among.html

interesting to see how our past hidden, rather inexplicable and uneventful lives can be the subject of cinematic drama and romance.

About ten years ago a guy from my cong wrote a novel on his disfellowshipping. It was made into a movie and screened on national television. I don't recall it leading to any commotion ot debate in particular. People just don't get the weirdness of the cult and probably dismiss it as just another vagary of life.

When will the kind of English spoken movie for a wider audience with in depth psychology and intelligent dialogue about the life of a JW ever be made? Enough bio material on this board.

52

Do You Miss Your Sense of Belonging?

by The wanderer in

jw
friends

do you miss your sense of belonging?what i miss is the sense of belonging and camaraderie that came with .

being one of jehovahs witnesses.

does this mean that i would return?

Van Gogh

Yes; my life has been a roller coaster ever since I left just over a year ago. I jumped - last minute - head first into a career as a lawyer. I opened up to others and and received in return. I found great support and precious people; they saved my life. But it means working 12 hours a day. I am tired. I also met someone very precious to me that I opened up to after many barren years of holding back. I love her with all my heart. Always will. We seperated a couple of hours ago. I feel lost once again. This is an understatement. Mainly I lost my God. There is little to fall back on except for the few precious friends I will always have. I was always an outsider, but at least the fairy tale was sweet. Life turned out to be a mystery after all.

Roy

44

Challenging the Discussion Board with Unsettling Questions

by The wanderer in

jw
friends

does the watchtower live with you everyday?

this post contains reasonable questions due to the fact.

that individuals who no longer claim to be one of jehovah's.

Van Gogh

Thanks for starting this thread Wanderer.

Thanks for all the replies. They made my day. That's why I am here.

Amnesia is not an option for the loss and grief outsiders cannot grasp

bewitched, bothered and bewildered

many will take the burden of a JW past to the end

on the often unsettling path toward freedom the load is lightened by others;

a lifelong common bond to replace the one we once held to be true,

until at the end we integrate and resolve all selves into...

(thanks Terry for your insights)

30

Do you own a Juicer?

by OUTLAW in

jw
friends

reading the vigil thread for our friends made me think of this.....juicers are a good way to get antioxidents(cancer fighters) into your body..i own a breville 2speed,850w 13,000rpm motor..this sucker could juice chalk..lol!

!..anyone else here own a juicer,and have you noticed the health benifits from it?...outlaw

Van Gogh

RPM's kill.
I own the "Rolls Royce" of juicers: the sweet and slow Green Star GS-1000. Warning: This machine requires dedication and commitment.... it is not a Toyota.
Juices everything verdant and fruity you ever saw on those pretty iridescent WTS paradise pics. From wheatgrass to kale, broccoli and spinach. Juice'm... probably the closest thing you'll ever get to eternal life (in the material realms).
Google Norman Walker and go to:
www.discountjuicers.com/greenstar.html
www.greenstar.com
Just remember: stay away from fruit juice as it contains too much sugar/carbs.
For balancing out taste and palatability, combine any dark green or bright-colored veggie or herb with organic tomato juice or carrots, a dash of real vinegar or sauerkraut, sea salt, soy sauce, chillies... whatever. Don't forget to add in fats like cold-pressed olive oil and/or fish oil, crucial for vitamin digestion.
Juicing completely changed the way I deal with food. Soothe the digestive tract and cut out the carb cravings.
Funny, I learnt to eat healthy from USA websites. Yet, so many Americans still don't seem to get it...

35

How deep did you search to finally quit being a JW?

by JH in

jw
friends

in my case, i never did much research or read alot of apostate literature to get out of the jw religion.

all i looked at was their heart and how they treated me.

that alone spoke for itself..

Van Gogh

"Finally took the last step and read Ray Franz's book 'Crisis of Conscience' and that was it, I couldn't go to another meeting. I had a epiphany and realized I was conned. Did anyone have a moment like that? It was like I reached the tipping point and everything fell together; I was really stunned for a few days as I let it all sink in."

It was like that for me, though I never researched anything, least of all WTS stuff... left on intuition in my early twenties, ready to die, only to return some years later. Grew to hate the organization yet again, though I never conceived it could not be the truth. I just strongly believed God was out there in the end. After reading "Apocalypse Delayed", on reading CoC the puzzle was completed for me within the first few pages, despite my gullibility. I wasn't quite ready for the red pill. Swallowed it and swore to go cold turkey. No more research needed. Still stunned.
VG

31

How do you say good-bye?

by hambeak in

my doctor called me today and told me i have a very aggressive case of colon cancer.

i go back on monday for more tests and maybe surgery and chemo i don't know.

my partner is a total mess over this and he is all i have.

Van Gogh

(((Gary))),

I understand your loneliness and the fear of all the crap we have been indoctrinated with over the years... I think many of us here do. That's why we are here.

Life has turned out be a mystery, full of the pain that wants us to go... full of the beauty that wants us to stay. Perhaps it is our test for now.

Please fight for your life. Make it your purpose. You have somebody worth living for, to hold... someone to take care of you, to hold you.

In the end love is everything, the only thing to live for.

VG

587

Show us your picture

by Honesty in

jw
friends

.

that is, if you are able to without the prospect of facing a three-man kangaroo court appointed by jerhover to keep the congregation clean from apostate influences.. i'll go first: .

Van Gogh

Desolate southernmost eastern coastline of Spain. Where many Westerns were filmed.

587

Show us your picture

by Honesty in

jw
friends

.

that is, if you are able to without the prospect of facing a three-man kangaroo court appointed by jerhover to keep the congregation clean from apostate influences.. i'll go first: .

Van Gogh

66

Rejecting God or rejecting religion?

by kojo in

jw
friends

i have read many posts on here and on other websites from people who were brought up or became immersed in a particular religion or belief system, who later ,often because of bad experiences with their religion, went to the opposite extreme of not believing in god at all.

this often puzzles me because i wonder if people who reject a belief in god because of the hypocrisies they experienced in their former belief really are rejecting god or just a man-made organization which claims to be god's spokesman and has shown to be anything but.. i was raised in a presbyterian church which is about as traditional and conservative as you can get and my image of god was molded by that belief.

i saw the services and people there as dead basically.

Van Gogh

poppers:
“Does one need the context of god or prayer in order to "be still and know" and still feel "awesome peace and presence?”
In one word: Yes. I do. I’m an “orphan” and “lost son” seeking reconciliation with his “Father”
I respect your point of view as it has a lot merit in terms of substance and as far as universally underlying principals is concerned. However, when it comes to the crunch, it seems to me that you and JT have a propensity to ask puzzling questions that I wish you guys would expand on a little, not being so elusive and esoterical as the object of your mantra eludes me. Please give us something more conclusive and tangible.

kojo:
To me, the message of Christ is the essence of existence, yet, as many ex-jaydubs, I am considering just living it, without entangling myself in any belief other than that (and certainly not any form of organized religion).
I like your words. But as much I wish them to be true with all my heart, they are just as elusive as all the other opinions. I too cried out to Christ and God, in various combinations… but nothing was bestowed on me as was on you. I see no reason to ever definitely discard any belief in God… but the injustice and inequality in this world is inexplicable. Why did Jesus only present himself to you and not to another?
When a jaydub, God was real to me… it was the only thing that kept me in the borg. But we were lied to and the answers to injustice proved to be false just like any other opinion. I do not like many (right-wing) Christians for some reason or another as they hide behind something else. I respect atheists and agnostics all the more for their morals, as they come from within.